Seriously. I deserve it. In fact, I’ll give a dollar to the first person to walk up to me, kick me in the balls and say “you deserved that, you stupid bastard.” No joke.
Why am I a stupid bastard, I hope I hear you ask. Well, glad you asked, if you did. See, I have this tendency to be a complete fucktard about certain things. Like how my father offers to send me to school, cutting out three years of struggling to save money, and I’m hesitating to take him up on it.
See, some part of me feels that if I go to school on Daddy’s tab, if I accept his help, then the accomplishment of getting there is not really my own. And this is stupid. Because the important thing is not how I manage to afford school. The important thing really is not how I get there but the fact that I finally get the education I’ve been wanting for so long. The point is what I do with myself afterward, and what I accomplish thence. The rest is all stupid materiality.
I just… uh… this is kind of weird. I’ve convinced myself. Um. Nothing much to say, really, I… I’ve convinced myself to accept my father’s offer. Yes, cool.
May 19, 2004 @ 1:09 am