An update to my
>previous entry: apparently this was a hoax. That sucks! Damn, and here I
was thinking that Americans had done something cool and grassrootsy. Plus I
always like to hear that the loose, moralless slut population is nice and high.
Stuff debunked here.
EUROPE
We are so smart! We joined together, so that while we still retain our national identities and unique cultures, we can co-operate on the financial markets!
GERMANY
I am german, und I like Industrial music, beer und ridiculously vell-constructed machines. But! I can go into England und use ze same currency I use at home, because ve are all part of ze EU! (How efficient!)
EUROPE
Yay!
SPAIN
I am spaneesh. There ees all sort of poleeteecal confleect and estuff happening een my country, but I can esteell go to Esweetzerland and get a job, because we are all part of the EU!
EUROPE
Yay!
ENGLAND
Oh, look. There are some more countries who want to join the EU. The more the merrier, I say!
EUROPE
Yay!
POLAND
Hello, we would like to be part of your happy union, please.
EUROPE
Happy to have you! As soon as we get a few agreements signed it’ll be official.
POLAND
So… that’s it? I’m going to be part of the EU? That’s great!
EUROPE
Yay!
POLAND
I can finally do something about my 20% unemployment rate! Now that my citizens will have EU passports they will be able to go and earn Euros in other countries. My people will have jobs, and my fellow Europeans will have a source of labour to boost the rest of their… I mean, our economies!
EUROPE
Oh, yeah, about that coming-here-to-work thing… see, we’ve been discussing this, and we’ve decided we don’t really want you working in our countries.
POLAND
… You don’t?
EUROPE
No, not really. We figure you’re going to come in and steal our jobs, driving down wages and ruining our lives.
POLAND
We would never do that! Mainly we just want to come to your schools, work for a couple of years in your marketplaces and come home to turn our country into a valuable trading partner.
EUROPE
Also, you smell.
POLAND
What?
EUROPE
Yeah. You really stink. It’s from wallowing around in filth all day. We don’t want a bunch of smelly Poles stinking up our cities, so you might as well just stay on your turnip farms.
POLAND
But… if you don’t want us to be a part of your economy, why did you encourage us to join in the first place?
EUROPE
Because we are an idyllic society, open to newcomers and making the world a better place by example! Yay!
HOLLAND
I am Dutch. I embrace some social laws and mores that other nations find veird. But I am free to vacation in Austria vithout impediment because ve are all EU!
EUROPE
Yay!
POLAND
Wait, don’t change the subject!
SWEDEN
Look, hockey!
EUROPE
Yay!
Man, I love BoingBoing. Today there were a couple of articles about ‘Operation Take One For The Country’, the latest american war effort and probably the best reason ever to join the armed forces.
Yes, this ranks even above “I get to shoot brown people.” Asshole.
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I could have sworn that I just did this all last year. What more do they want from me?
I’m not, on the whole, an ignorant person. I like to keep myself informed on matters of international interest. I pick up new concepts easily, especially when there is math involved. I can reason circles around most people (not necessarily most people I know, but most people) and overall I am Not Dumb. However, as soon as someone starts explaining what sort of refunds and tax benefits I can expect I blank out.
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One of the most popular non-bed locations for nookie is a car. Whether you’re fucking or just fucking around, car nookie has many advantages, but also a number of pitfalls that must be avoided to ensure the experience is a pleasant one.
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Okay, once again Bruce Sterling rocks my world, this time for linking to an interactive lightshow going on over Dublin.
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I just installed Movable Type. So far I like what I see, except for one thing: this means I’ll now have to update my blog from time to time… fuck.
Not this time, though. Bye.
